Want to Be Happier? Log Off After Reading This

Oooohhhh, this doesn’t sound like the mindless, boring, getting-to-know-you chit-chat. This sounds like you actually have something to say. –Uma Thurman’s character in Pulp Fiction

So, when was the last time you had a deep, meaningful conversation?

You can't have real conversations if you're in front of your computer.

Real conversations = Real happiness
The longer since your last meaningful talk, the less happy you’re likely to be.  Because real happiness is correlated to real conversations. Turns out that friend of yours who was always discussing existential topics (that sometimes seemed depressing) is probably a lot happier than your other ostensibly more popular friend who just does the mindless chit-chat.  Maybe college was a happy time because of those bull sessions instead of the beer. According to a study in the New York Times, the quality of your conversations correlates with your quality of happiness.

Typing is not conversing
Yet most of your communication right now probably consists of emails, texts, voicemail, and when you do talk, it’s only relaying information.  “Don’t forget to pick up the dry cleaning.” “Do you deliver?” “I’m too busy to talk.”

None of that makes you, your family, your friends, or networking contacts happy.

While there’s no way to have meaningful conversations with everyone, you can focus on having them with someone.

So, this post is purposely short to give you more time to get to your Mojo Moves

  • Schedule some time right now to have a long conversation with someone close to you
  • Think about some of your favorite conversations — who were they with? Call them up and tell them. They will love hearing it
  • Step away from the computer.  You’re sending too many emails already. Type less, talk more

Photo courtesy kaktak.tumblr.com

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What tips do you have for real conversation? We’d love to hear in our comments section.

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Did you enjoy this post?
  • http://www.martinanalytics.net Sally Martin

    Susan, I took your advice even before you posted it by calling you this morning!

    Here is a blog I love (amazing book and I can say this after having read pretty much every happiness book written):


    • http://www.mojo40.com Susan Kim

      Sally, you could not be more right about the Happiness Project. We’ve been meaning to update the resources page and now we’ve included that link.

  • http://www.mojo40.com Diane Dolinsky-Pickar

    I love your Mojo points, Susan. In fact, this week I caught up with someone whom I had not spoken with in maybe 16 years. Well, you know you have a friend when someone whom you haven’t talked with in that long, still recalls the name of the firm you started! Keep the good advice coming.

  • Charlotte Lundberg

    How is it possible to do it all wrong? I’m on facebook, all by myself, emailing to friends, how sad could it be? So thanks to your comments I shaped up and moved on with my social contacts. Loved this reminder!

  • http://www.plane-tickets.info plane tickets

    i’m adding your blog rss feed so that I can see your new posts. Continue the good work!

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